When we lived the romantic life that is being the parents of just one young child, we were the worst at bedtime. In fact, we never really had much a routine. Once we were ready to sleep, we had certain boxes to check, but it was highly informal. If we wanted to go out until very late, we would; it was no skin off our backs.
As I entered the third trimester with my second, I knew that I wanted to streamline the process. Studies have shown that routine is highly beneficial for children, and I wanted bedtime to stop being the standoff it had become between parents who just want their toddler to be unconscious, and a toddler who wasn’t done having fun yet. Plus, if we could get into a routine with my oldest, then our baby would have the benefit of a schedule he could reply on.
Everyone’s situation and family dynamic is different, but this is the routine that works for us:
6:30pm – family pick-up. For more info on this, I have an entire blog post detailing it. Basically, though, this sort of signals the day winding down. The goal is for everyone to pitch in to get the house tidy, and ready for the next day—though little-little kids can play (as long as they aren’t creating more mess).
7:00pm – last call for food + pajamas + hygiene. We want to have everyone ready for sleep by 7:30; then we won’t have to try to wrangle tired children after they’re done playing. When I was pregnant, my breastmilk supply dried up for a bit, and so it was really important to offer Gwendolyn more to eat before bed, since she was used to snacking throughout the night. Plus, being in pjs and having the house tidy really sets a different mood.
7:30pm – books + extra playtime. In an ideal world, we we jut take time to read together, but we sometimes let our toddler play longer, if the baby is being particularly needy. Reading helps her wind down, but solo play gives us a short break.
8:00pm – lights off + in bed. For my son, this is usually just breastfeeding, and snuggling; singing on a rough night. For my daughter, this is talking about her day, and a little breastfeeding, and maybe rubs or singing.
9:00 – mom leaves. Sometimes, one of the kids is still struggling to sleep, and I will still cuddle, but most days, I use 9 as an exit time. Gwendolyn has to wait for Harry to be out to get her time with me, and sometimes she has too much to say, or can’t settle down. Giving myself a time to clock out (Todd stays in the room until she’s asleep) keeps me sane, and adds a little incentive to get tucked in when I say it’s time.
And that’s it! Are we perfect at it every day? No. Some days we’re just out until 7, or Gwendolyn takes a very late surprise nap, and then the schedule doesn’t work as well. Or it’s 8:30 before the kids are ready to be tucked in. But we try to keep the general order of things, and have a 9pm deadline.
I’ve already noticed a huge difference in Gwendolyn’s acceptance of going to bed now that we’ve been consistent with a schedule; Harry actually loves bedtime. And having a reliable course of events is so helpful for me and Todd.
What does your bedtime routine look like?
