Before Gwendolyn was born, I was unsure what our sleep arrangements would be.
I read that sleeping in the same room as us would significantly reduce her chances of SIDS, but I’d also read that some kids just can’t sleep with other people around. To be safe, I bought a Swedish baby box, and decided we’d just see what worked, and get something more permanent at that point.
The very first night, we put Gwendolyn in the corner on the floor, in her box, and she slept for a couple of hours. After waking, though, she refused to go back to sleep there—no one puts baby in a corner! I’m pretty sure she could her us whispering, or moving, and just missed being there (she had always gotten very excited at that time in-utero). We couldn’t take the crying, so we brought her into bed with us. She slept like a dream. Over the next few days, we tried the baby box, again, but it was clear it wasn’t really worth trying anymore. She knew where she was going to sleep. And that was our start with co-sleeping.
Honestly, I can’t imagine things any other way. Co-sleeping has been wonderful for so many reasons.
Breastfeeding. I’m super lazy. I do not want to get up a million times a night to feed, when I could just do it from the comfort of my warm bed. Sometime around 9 months – 1 year, I got to where I would go to sleep with my top up, and wake up with both sides down, with hardly any memory of nursing. Excellent for better sleep. Plus, Gwendolyn can have a snack whenever she feels hungry, or needs some extra comfort.
Less Anxiety. When my girl was tiny, especially, I would wake up several times a night, gasping, because I thought she wasn’t breathing. This was only the case maybe one time (still unsure), but knowing I could help if that were the case—and could check anytime, without haunting the house—was much easier, and less disruptive.
Easier for Dad. Our setup the first year was for me to nurse, and Todd to do all the night diapers. Having him in the same room as baby made it easier for him, as well.
Bonding. At the end of a long day, co-sleeping is there for us. Some nights, we just cuddle in and enjoy each others’ company. Others, Gwendolyn needs lots and lots of extra loves to get to sleep. And I occasionally need it, too. No matter how hard the day was, or how long it took us to get Gwendolyn to sleep, when I get in bed and see her sweet, peaceful face, I can’t help but feel warm and cuddly inside. It’s good for us, I think.
Travel. Kids are notorious for being bad sleepers in new locations: hating pack-n-plays, etc. Since Gwendolyn is already used to sleeping in bed with us, we can go anywhere, and she’ll settle alright. Plus, I love not having to haul anything special for her to sleep in!
Better Time with Sleep Regression. Sleep regression seriously sucks, but it’s just a thing that happens with babies. I cannot imagine having to get up to soothe her during these unfortunate fazes. Now, it is still really hard even with co-sleeping. Constant nursing, or yelling, despite being in bed with us is taxing. 4 month sleep regression for Gwendolyn meant she needed to be RIGHT next to mom…and that’s how she oozed out of the crib (which is just a way to keep whichever of us sleeps on that side from falling out of bed, at this point). However, after she was over it, I found I couldn’t sleep, because I’d gotten used to feeling her breathing and heartbeat. Good thing we all like snuggling.
Mornings. Similar to the point on bonding, almost every morning starts with us cuddling, or the world’s happiest smile from my sweet girl. It’s the loveliest way to start the day, and can absolutely make up for a bad night.
Currently, all three of us are in a queen size bed (though I am actively trying to find a good king-size mattress now, because she’s long!). We sleep in a different arrangement almost night, though the most common are: Gwendolyn in the middle; or us parents together (yay), but her lying horizontally. Still, we’re all getting pretty good sleep, most nights.
2019 has actually been the worse sleep Gwendolyn has even had—she was sleeping 5 hours through the night at 2 weeks old. Between possible sleep regressions, and loads of illness, it’s been insanely rough. But I’m glad she can feel safe and supported when she needs it most. And, the best news: it seems we’re getting back into decent sleep land. Hallelujah.
I feel like I have to tell you how long we plan to co-sleep, as that seems to be everyone’s question. The answer is: however long she wants to. I had bad sleep regression at 11 years old, and my sister and I took turns sleeping on the bed or floor in my parent’s room whenever my dad traveled. There is research suggesting that children bedspring until 11 or 12 results in less anxiety, have healthier views about sex, and a stronger sense of belonging. Those positive effects all sound great!
All in all, for us, co-sleeping is a way to connect as a family, unwind, and keep the little one feeling secure. I’m so happy we went this route, and look forward to more years of snuggles!
