When we think about ‘qualifiers’ for being an adult, I think it’s pretty common to think about getting married, having kids, buying a home, or traveling the globe. And there’s good reason that those come to mind: they all require a lot of commitment, are long-term choices, or are just expensive.
Recently, Todd and I were discussing people he knows who do a lot of enviable traveling. It looks super cool and glamorous, but none of them has a ‘settled down’ lifestyle as they reach their 30s—it’s just them alone. And that’s totally fine; it’s sort of the opposite of our lives. I think when you are tied down, the ability to go anywhere whenever seems amazing, but when you can do that, a lot of the time, you wish you had more roots. But not everyone without their own home and family can just jet-set.
So, I started thinking: what kinds of things can be done by anyone to become an ‘adult-ier adult’—regardless of relationship or homeowner status? Here’s a plethora of ideas: (and yes, I’m obviously a pregnant parent in my house, so that’s what I have pictures of; sorry)
- Join a club or group. Both Todd and I are involved in local groups, and it has been really great for both of us. Connecting to people with like-minded interests is fun, and gives you a chance to talk about things your interested in, with people who are just as interested in them as you. Plus, this gives you a good, organic way to make friends. You can find a group that centers around just about anything. Physical fitness (HEMA; hiking), a craft or hobby (knitting; bookclub) or social group (progressive dinner; local area folks). If there isn’t a group for your interest in your area, try posting in local facebook groups, and make one yourself! With a good group, you’ll be more a part of your community.
- Grow some food. You can do this whether your own or rent. Build or buy a planter, and choose something you’re sure to use. An herb garden was a huge deal to me, but maybe you’d rather grown strawberries, or zucchini. Whatever you choose, you’ll feel pride in knowing your environment enough to produce produce!
- Get your wardrobe together. I think it’s pretty common for people to hold on to clothes for way longer than they should. Maybe the clothes are out of style, or they were never truly your style. Spend time figuring out what look you really like, and would work best for your lifestyle (that second part may help you decide between multiple styles). Write a list of what you want in your ideal wardrobe, then start tossing things you know you can, and replace with items that fit your style. Loving what you wear will just make you happier, and feel more yourself.
- Take a class. Maybe you aren’t needing a group, but you still want to get out, and do fun things. Consider taking a class to learn a new skill. Rock climbing, hand-lettering, cooking a specific type of cuisine—there are so many different classes offered at libraries, businesses, and theaters. Why not spend a couple of weeks learning something new? You could also sign-up for something longer-term, like joining a cycling, or dance class. Often, you can find ones that just run 6-8 weeks. Why not improve yourself, and your skills, if you have the chance?
- Upgrade your curb appeal. What you can do will vary wildly, depending on your living situation. If there’s not much you can do, you can usually just make sure your windows and door are clean, and get a nice entry mat and wreath. If you have more control, you may be able to update your yard. Coming home to a space that feels hygge, well-maintained, and personal is a fantastic feeling. You’ll probably be more excited when you arrive home—that’s what it did for me, at least.
- Get a pet. Obviously you only want to do this is it’s appropriate for your circumstances—getting a pet is a long-term commitment, and you should not bother if you don’t view it that way. But a pet is a fantastic way to ‘ground’ you. They’ll be there where you get home; they are someone else to look out for; and interacting with them is a delight—plus it’s just nice to not be alone.
- Learn to cook. If you’re out of college, especially, you will be so much better off with some cooking skills. You will be able to find a class or group, if you need it. Otherwise, I would suggest trying recipes on the 1-2 star scale until you feel confident. Figure out how to make a week’s worth of meals—that are good for you. Your body will feel better, and that’ll make everything better. You may even discover an interest in cooking, once you’e found meals you enjoy making.
- KonMari. Transitioning into adulthood often results in a hodgepodge of items. Cheap storage solutions, random junk, old notes, etc. Take the time to get the amount of stuff you have under control. You home will feel much more grown-up. I have a series on my latest time KonMari’ing.
- Meal prep. Maybe this can help you have more healthful, and cheaper lunches, or ensure you get a good breakfast in. Maybe you dislike cooking, so this can allow you to do it just once a week. Or maybe you just want to have some filling snacks on hand. You needn’t meal prep everything, but picking one category can be immensely helpful.
- Take action. Do you want to have a say in how things go? Or perhaps share solutions you think will help others? Then go for it! Todd is on our HOA board; and I am on the board for my local babywearing group, as well as doing all their handouts. You can share your ideas, work more effectively to get others in your community interested or aware of things that matter to you; or even keep up some professional skills. Plus, you are definitely an involved member of your area.
- DIY. Whether you need clever solutions for your rental, or you want to do something custom for your house, DIY is a cool way to gain more skills, but also to make your space really yours. You could simply paint, or create art. You could start small and swap out kitchen knobs, or by getting some nice-nice-looking storage bins for organization. To go bigger; swap out outdated light fixtures, or build a custom piece of furniture (like a bookshelf).
- Have a cleaning schedule. Does anything say ‘this particular time or place in temporary’ more than a house that needs most areas cleaned a little more regularly? You’ll be happier to be at home, and guests will be happier to visit if your place feels well-kept. Decide just one or two things to do each day, and then you’ll always know when it should get done.
- Get to know your town. Traveling to new and exotic destinations is awesome, but you live where you live right now—why not learn the best of it? Likely, you’ll find that you become more satisfied with where you live, because you know what it has to offer—and you’ll be able to point guests, or newcomers in the beset directions. Already have a few places you love? Branch out, still! You don’t have to abandon your favourite spots to try something new.
- Volunteer. What better way to connect to where you are now, than by helping out? Whether you want to help upkeep the land, help old people, young people, or cats, you’re sure to be able to find a place where you can make even a small contribution to your community.
- Buy some houseplants. If you aren’t keen on a pet right now, houseplants can make a huge difference in how alive your space feels. There are lots of plants (like snake plants; spider plants; calatheas) that don’t need a ton of light. Alternatively, there are plants that would love to be roasted (cacti and succulents). If you’re looking for a way to boost your home’s coziness, get a few—you’ll be amazed at the transformation. As an added bonus, you’re still getting to keep something, besides yourself, alive.
- Figure out an exercise routine. Maybe you can find a hiking or running group, or join a class at the gym. If you’d rather exercise with DVDs or youtube videos you love, then do that. Fitness is crucial, and even moreso as you leave your 20s. Make a goal to get at least 30 minutes in 3 times a week—or more. If it’s an active priority, then you’re more likely to meet those goals. Fitness may even become a hobby for you, or a necessary way to relax, or feel accomplished.
- Host parties. Whether you have 2 friends, or 24, hosting an evening meant for enjoyment is very adult. You’re welcome to do parties for friends, but it’s also nice to host at your house: a game night; a hot chocolate night; a cheese-tasting party; or a fancy holiday bash—whatever strikes you fancy. These social experiences will be more unique, and allow you to be creative, and treat people you care about.
- Budget. Of course. But really, even if you pay your bills on time, and you have a budget for your monthly expenses, perhaps you could try really figuring out your ‘for fun’ spending. This can cut down on random purchases, and ensure that you save up for items you really want. Knowing what you want to spend your money on, instead of buying everything that catches your eye will help you curate a space that really reflects you.
Alright, so there’s some suggestions for increasing your ‘adult points’. Obviously, you don’t need to feel like you should plenty them all; perhaps just pick a couple to start with. I think that, anyone, age 18 or 55, no matter how ‘adult’ they are could probably pick something off this list to improve their life with. I hope that by implementing some of these, you feel more confident in yourself, and more connected to your present.
What things do you do that make you feel very ‘adult-y’?
