Have you ever heard of Mother’s Blessing? It’s derived from the Native American Blessingway celebration (but for white—or just non-native-american—ladies). With the rise in popularity for gender reveal parties, I assume I’m not alone, but I was never super into the idea of a baby shower. When I was pregnant with my first, I wanted to focus on more than just random stuff that may or may not (usually not) be gifted from our registry.
The unique thing about a Mother’s Blessing is that it focuses on the mother, instead of just the baby, which I feel is really special and important, especially as pregnancy draws to a close.
Back in August, I had the enormous privilege of hosting a Mother’s Blessing for one of my favourite friends, Erin. It went so incredibly well that I want to share what it looked like for anyone out there looking to host one themselves.
First, with the invitation, we asked for no gifts, but instead bring a note of encouragement about birth or motherhood. And just in case, I had supplies ready to go at the Blessing.
Once we had all our guests present—including a surprise friend we hadn’t seen in much too long!—we went around doing introductions. Each guest said their name, their grandmother’s name, and children’s names (if applicable). ‘I’m Lindsay, daughter of Susan, daughter of Mary-Margaret; mother of Gwendolyn and Harry.’ This was meant to set the scene for the bond of motherhood, and womanhood in our group. I had Erin go last, and then presented her with a flower crown, as a symbol of her transition into motherhood.
Next, I acknowledged the support the expectant mother had from her and our husbands; loved ones not present; brothers; friends; and her own children, in particular, the little girl just months away from making her appearance.
In a bolder move I wasn’t sure would resonate (luckily it really did), I then invited Heavenly Mother, reading an invitation I found online and altered a bit:
After the introductions and invitations, we all formed a circle, and held hands. I admonished our little group to take a minute to close our eyes, and come into this space with clear thoughts, wise words, and kind hearts.
Then I had the mother-to-be, Erin (and anyone else who wanted to), close her eyes and read, “Erin:
At this point, I had different guests read a few poems I found about motherhood or birth.
Then, we did our first activity. Starting with Erin, we tied a string on her wrist, and had her say one of two brief things or ideas she hoped for in her baby’s upcoming birth. Then, we passed the string around, with each person adding to the list, and trying the string around their wrist, repeating everything said before, as well (like the “I’m going on a trip game”) ie: ‘to have a smooth comfortable birth’ then the next person says ‘to feel safe and calm; and to have a smooth and comfortable birth’, and so on (top tip: write them down as you go!).
Once everyone had gone, I cut the strings, and everyone made sure they had some tied on. The idea behind this being that you wear the string as a sign of your support for the mother until the new baby is born.
Next, I read a very short hypnobirthing relaxation script, and had everyone participate.
As a final activity, I had a tray of scrapbooking paper, stickers, and pens for guests to write supportive words, or affirmations about birth or motherhood on. We all took time to make as many as we wanted. After all the materials were used up, Erin read each of them out loud to the group.
With the party at its close, we took pictures, and I had a flower for each guest to take home.
I lucked out, because I didn’t have to provide the food, so I could go all out in the decoration—or ~vibe~ — department. I wanted to keep it relatively simple, but impactful.
I went with various tones of pink, and green, because: baby girl; and also I know Erin likes burgundy. I found that Zurcher’s had most of what I needed. I got streamers, tissue paper poufs, and flowers from a local flower shop. The flowers were s t u n n i n g, and really created the mood. I also made up a quick sign with stuff I found at Michael’s, and used a few things I already had on hand. Plus a balloon arch, to really drive the color scheme home. Everyone loves a balloon arch.
Overall, I really don’t think it could have gone better. Guests l o v e d the unique celebration. It was supportive and spiritual in tone; and just overall lovely.
Erin has since had her baby, a lovely little girl with the sweetest delicate features.
I highly recommend Mother’s Blessings over baby showers to give mother’s (especially new ones) support and love.
If you’re looking to do one yourself, I hope this really helps give you an outline! Each expectant mother is different, so I’d recommend running party activities by her (for example, my friend would not have wanted people brushing her hair or massaging her). All the activities I collected were:
- bring a plant that best represents you
- bring notes of encouragement
- wash hands in rose water
- introduce yourself to grandmother, or great-grandmother
- hold hands and say some words
- discuss birth fears
- discuss birth hopes and dreams
- flower crown
- have guests bring a bead they like, or that reminds them of the mother
- massage
- have guests bring a freezer meal
- string while we say what we want for her birth
- bring string for a birth candle
- read poems
- invite mother goddess
- relaxation script (hypnobirthing)
- address baby
- bring hair/paint nails
- henna
- closing remarks
- write birth affirmations
- leave with candle
