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how to choose the right cat addition for your family

At the end of this summer, we passed 2 years with Blythe. Time is crazy, man. To commemorate the occasion, I thought I’d share my tips on choosing a second (or third, or whatever number you’d be on) cat. We’ve had very good luck in matching cat personalities, and I know that just getting another—even a ‘good’ cat—doesn’t ensure that they’ll meld well with the cats you already have.

we are all tapped out with 3 cats

take assessment of your current cats personalities and temperaments – when we only had Wendy, she was extremely friendly (though the glass) with the neighborhood strays we were feeding. However, she was also very sassy, and is not in tip-top condition, given her very rough start in life. So we needed a very easy-going cat. After lots of research, I learned that male cats get along well together, but female cats often get along better with male cats.

Many years later, when I was looking for a third and final cat, I knew from when we got Baek Seung Jo that Wendy took  f i v e – e v e r  to feel okay with a new cat. I also wanted a cat that wouldn’t bug her too much, as Seung Jo still would play in a way she didn’t like. However, after fostering kittens, I knew Seung Jo really longed for a cat who didn’t just tolerate him, but wanted to play and cuddle with him—a companion.


account for the ages of your current cats – going from 1 to 2 cats, Wendy was around 2 years old. To make the new cat as non-threatening as possible, we decided to get a kitten (turns out she’s afraid of kittens, but we didn’t know yet).

When I was looking to get a third, I still went with a kitten, because Seung Jo only had experience with Wendy, and kittens (he was an exception uncle cat to our foster kittens). It’s dumb that Wendy is scared of kittens, given that she could so easily pwn them; plus, I had no idea if she’d be more okay with an older cat. Either way, we wanted our age-hierarchy to remain the same, so as to not rock the boat too much.


determine your why you want another cat – we were looking for a second cat to be a companion to Wendy. She didn’t love being left at home alone, and I’d never had two cats before, and loved the idea of having two cats that got along.

When it came to getting a third, it was 100% my decision (Todd was good with just 2). But my childhood cat, Chrissy, had passed away shortly before my son’s birth, and I wanted a sort of replacement cat who was obsessed with me, and liked cuddling (something neither Wendy nor Seung Jo saw fit to do with me with any regularity).


figure out exactly what kind of cat you’re looking for – as I touched on earlier, we looked for a chill male cat for our second. I decided it’d be cool to have a fluffy black cat, as I’d never had a black or fluffy cat before (and apparently black cats get adopted less than other colors). Seung Jo fit the bill TO A TEE. Like all cats, he went through a super-annoying adolescent phase that lasted at least until he was 2. At 5, now, he has completely moved out of that, and is the chill, cuddly kitten we brought home.

Blythe is truly obsessed with me. More than Chrissy ever was, I think. He’s just barely 2, so he’s not completely out of the adolescent chase-wendy-for-fun phase. I think he takes more of a sick pleasure in in, too, than Seung Jo did. I am really, really hoping he grows out of it, because, right now, he’s 50% asleep or cuddling, and 50% being evil to Wendy. But I did get a cat that loves me and snuggling me. I also really wanted a smoke or ghost tabby (which he is). He and Seung Jo are a bonded pair, and love to play and bathe, and snuggle each other too.

The crazy thing is that, in the end, Wendy has learned ‘how to cat’ from each new addition, and now she and Seung Jo love on me a lot. I’m really glad we took the time to figure out the right cats for our situation, as it’s made for a really pleasant balance of personalities.

If you’re searching for a new cat, I highly recommend that you spend the time to make sure things will work out as well as possible. There’s loads of great cats, but finding a cat that will be right for your cats is worth it!

finally completes my multi-year dream of getting a shot with me + all 3 cats

and now, for some very special pictures I’ve wanted to recreate for a while now. Inspo:

2 Comments

  1. Cory
    December 29, 2022 / 9:16 pm

    Love this post. We’ve done somewhere around 15 new cat introductions over the years. Bringing a kitten into a house with a senior cat (over 7 years old) was the most challenging. Kittens are busy! We always introduced a new family member by giving them a bedroom for a week to get used to the sounds and smells of our house. This included peeks under the door exploratory paws with the other cats. Then when they graduated to general population we introduced the newby on our lap so the others know they are accepted and protected by us.

  2. lindsay
    Author
    December 31, 2022 / 6:39 pm

    That’s what we’ve done, too! Though we had some hiccups—we used the same ‘welcome to the house room’ for wendy + seung jo, but we soon realize wendy considered that to be ‘her room’ still, so we had to switch rooms. And then wendy was still scared of walking past the new cat room, of course. But we haven’t introduced cats, I don’t think, with the new cat on our lap. Something to keep in mind!

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