In Marie Kondo’s latest book, Kurashi at Home, she widens her focus from just getting your life in order through tidying your things, to sorting out your entire day so that it sparks joy. Much like my own blog post about crafting a day that works for you, Kondo recommends breaking your day down into three distinct sections, so that you can change just one part at a time, and figure out the rhythm that works for you for each part of your day.
When I read this, I had a bit of a ‘lightbulb’ moment. Even though I had come to a similar idea a the year before (which, I mean: omg Marie Kondo and I are totally on the same page, right?!), I was focusing on solely the parenting aspect, and trying to move from blind-parenting-survival mode into some sort of consistent routine, where one could then try to out figure out how to organize their day, break a long parenting day down into manageable chunks of time, and find places to fit things in (like a workout; or time to clean; or see friends). In Kurashi at Home, there is a bit of a parenting lean, as she is in that phase of life right now, too, but I really appreciated her take of making each portion of your day bring you a sense of joy.
When reading the book and thinking about how I wanted my mornings to go, I realized I was applying the morning goals that I had as a childless person to my life as a mother of two. I am not a morning person. Before having kids, I would get up either earlier—to exercise and then immediately get dressed, get ready, and leave the house—or later—and get ready in the shortest amount of time I could, so I could sleep more. In both situations, it was v e r y utilitarian. And, though getting up and exercising was nice, because I didn’t have to think about that later in the day, I wasn’t sure I’d ever really had mornings that gave me a sense of joy (aside from slow ones as a teenager, where I could just enjoy the diffuse morning light in my bed with my cat).
Last year, I came up with a solution to making my mornings with kids less hectic. Though it did help getting what needed to get done done, it still didn’t produce any net-positive feelings. I still disliked mornings, and they felt rushed, and overwhelming to me. My original plan was entirely, you guessed it: utilitarian. After reading about how Marie structures her mornings, I took notes, and came up with a plan create a more pleasant atmosphere.
For the last couple of months, we have been following this new routine, and it has made a notable impact in how I feel during the mornings. I’m still not a morning person, but the frantic tone to our mornings has been reduced, and some mornings, is entirely absent. Here’s what we do:
– Get ready for the day first thing. For us, this means getting ready before going downstairs. This mitigates the mess from the kids’ playing on the main floor, as ensures we’re all ready for whatever is on the schedule for the day, without rushing to get put together later. The kids brush hair, brush teeth, and get dressed. I do my morning face routine, brush teeth, and get dressed, too.
The night before, when getting ready for bed, the kids pick out their clothes for the next day. This is important, because on homeschool days, it can be very difficult to get them to go back upstairs after breakfast to get dressed, and certainly hard to get them to do it and be in the school room in a timely manner. The other weekdays, we have places to be in the morning, and their distressed calls when they can’t find their gear pulls me away from taking care of myself, and can make us late, or we have even had bad mornings where we’ve discovered needed items aren’t clean, or just can’t be found at all. Setting things out the night before takes care of every one of these issues.
– Turn on Classical music. This helps create a calm and pleasant mood that has really shifted our morning vibe.
At first, I was hesitant to turn on music so early in the day. We listen to a lot of music already (while cooking; just to dance, or sing + have fun; and almost always in the car), and, as someone with very sensitive ears, I worried about starting the day with music on top of the kids talking, and the cats—mostly Seung Jo!—yowling for brekkie. However, the presence of Classical music has actually kept the kids voices down—though it seems nothing can deter Seung Jo.
– Eat together. Starting our day fresh, enjoying the morning light, and just being together is a nice way to connect before we get into the rest of our day.
I know, basically everyone touts the merits of eating as a family. We always do for dinner, but our dining room table also doubles as an art space, so it’s often a disaster. Clearing out a 5×5 inch space for my plate at the table, and sitting while gazing at the mess was a terrible way for me to start the day, so I used to get sit alone in the living room, while the kids ate at the table. Changing this has required more tidying enforcement for my daughter to pick up after herself when crafting. But the mornings really do feel so nice when I can just sit down and enjoy being with the kids, without paper scraps and materials littering the whole room.
– Make Crio Bru. I mean, y’all already know that I have a particular passion for Bru, and we drink it a lot anyway. However, synthesizing some other things Kondo discusses about other parts of the day, Todd and I decided to try and have some touchpoint moments together, specifically over Bru, throughout the day.
When I first started this new routine, we talked about adding in breaks to his workday (that has not happened, though, unfortunately). We did, however, have this beyond lovely day where we just chatted for 10-20 minutes twice during the workday—over Bru—and it was so simple and nice, I make sure to have Bru ready by around 10 am, so we can snatch even a couple of minutes together. It also gives me a little boost after all the morning tasks.
That’s our new joy-sparking morning routine. It’s not even t h a t different from the old one, but it feels so much better. To break it down, so you might be able to see where you can make little changes that have a big payoff, here’s what we had to alter to get to this type of morning:
- get back into our nighttime tidy up, so we could go about our morning easily
- choose a specific time to have Crio Bru
- find + set out clothes for the next day
With only a bit of group discipline in the evenings, our mornings go much, much more smoothly, and I don’t dread the rush of morning tasks like I used to, because there’s built-in nice parts, too. If you have a rough part of your day, I absolutely recommend trying to sort out ways to make it go a little smoother, and spark a bit of joy for you, too.
Good luck!
