When people find out we don’t really do screens, they often ask how we do it. The only times I’ve been tempted to simply turn the tv on have been in the evenings, as that is when we watch tv together, when we do actually watch tv. However, I’ve only had that urge a few times, and it was just recently that we first watched nearly 1.5 hours—and it was after we’d all been sick for days. If we’re not using screens, then what do we do with our time, and are we really able to get much done? Yes!
I like to—very loosely—think of our days in thirds: togetherness, work, and independent play. This just helps me to block out the day.
Togetherness covers:
- Reading books before naps and bedtime
- Nursing
- Playing together
- Me watching her
- Spending time outside
- Going somewhere fun
Any time we’re not working, and we’re together. It’s bonding, and is usually slow. I try to give my undivided attention, and lots of eye contact conversation.
Work includes:
- Folding laundry
- Cooking meals
- Tidying up
- Running Errands
- Appointments
- Hanging out while I exercise
This category is a bit flexible, and sometimes she’ll go off and play by herself while I work. Also, cooking together could also be considered a togetherness activity. But the main gist is that we are doing something that must get done. I really like to involve her in housework, and she shows a lot of pride in knowing what to do, and accomplishing tasks.
Independent play is:
- Exactly what it sounds like: any time she’s playing alone
Lately, she’s been getting really, really great at this, which definitely allows me to do more. Sometimes I will help her with ideas, but after a few minutes, she can normally be off in her own little work (and it’s a d o r a b l e to eavesdrop on, I tell you!)
I think it’s super important for her to connect with me, as her primary caregiver, and I want to strengthen out bond; but I believe that teaching her to do things that must be done, and how to take care of herself and her environment; as well as playing independently are equally as important. Some days, she needs more love, or really plays well, and that’s fine. We don’t have to have an exactly thirds split every day. But thinking of our time in this way helps me recognize when an area could use more time in a day.
With this balance, we don’t’ have time for tv during the day, and I absolutely wouldn’t have it any other way. Are you a low/no-screen home? What does that look like for you? If you’re thinking of cutting back, try thinking of your day with my thirds rule, and let me know how it goes!
