I often see people asking what they can bring to a new mom. In fact, Pinterest is littered with postpartum gift basket ideas, ranging from intensely practical, to downright frivolous. This is my second time being a postpartum mom, so I have pretty good idea of what might actually be useful.
Disclaimer: each person is different, and has a different situation. Some mamas might really like getting pads; others may like fuzzy socks and bags of candy. My hope in this post is to list more things that might be more overlooked, on the practical and ‘extra’ sides of the spectrum.
When people are looking to help a postpartum mom, their heart is already in the right place. But things can be tricky, as—I think—a lot of postpartum mothers, myself included often aren’t super open with their needs. (Which is why gifts are often care-related, or a bit superficial)
In my case, I like to take care of people. But I have a very, very, very difficult time asking for help, because I don’t want to inconvenience anyone. Add in that I might not even know exactly what I need, and I definitely won’t reach out. Which brings us to the list of useful postpartum gifts for new moms:
reach out yourself – I don’t know what I need a lot of the time, to be honest. But I have had a couple of experiences where someone’s offered help. Once was to get us groceries, because they were already at the store. The other was to go out with me and my kids my first day soloing (which I was super petrified of). In both cases, I was more easily able to accept support, because a specific thing was offered to me: “Would this specific thing relieve you?” I felt better, and like I had people looking out for me in both cases.
give attention – a lot of people nowadays are emphasizing the importance of checking in with mom, and not just baby. I can attest, this postpartum period, that’s what I’ve needed the most. When people show up and and want to share what they’ve done while I’ve been with baby, I am happy to hear what’s going on. When they show up and really seem to care about my experience, I feel seen, instead of just an invisible mom of two. I also really like it if you’re interested in the baby—I’m pretty proud of him, so your compliments to him make me feel good, too. I don’t necessarily have the mental capacity to orchestrate the conversations, so it’s really nice when someone else does.
ask the husband what you can do – maybe you aren’t sure about doing the first two items on this list, because you aren’t sure how mom feels. Ask the husband! Todd is much more willing to be candid about how we’re doing. You can ask if specific things would be useful before pitching them to mom, or simply ask him what you can do to help. In my experience, he’ll then ask me.
bring dinner from a favourite restaurant – this is a great idea if you don’t like cooking, or the couple is super picky (as in our case). With a new baby, we don’t get out as much, so getting a meal from a restaurant is a bit of a treat—especially when it means we don’t have to pack up two kids, drive, and wait for food.
treats for mama – if you really want to give a physical gift, consider something mom can indulge in. This could be high-quality chocolate (extra nice when so much of eating during this period is just about putting food in your face), or a refreshing face mask, or even home-making some protein bites for an easy way for her to eat one-handed.
bring coconut water – moms, especially breastfeeding moms, need to stay hydrated. Coconut water is excellent for this, but buying enough for just one a day every day of the week for several weeks can get expensive. Coming over for a visit? Just bring some coconut water every time!
Hopefully this list had something on it you think you could help a postpartum mother out with. Remember, this time is a huge adjustment, so anything truly thoughtful will likely be well-received—but definitely don’t wait to be told what to do if you do really want to help.
Postpartum mamas: what things that others did—or brought you—were most helpful for you?
